Laying In Dark Rooms With Babies

It’s been 30 minutes since I laid my son down and I’m still sitting here with goosebumps trying to figure out at at what point God decided I should and would be a mother. Like, had he known all a long that he had created me for this, to be Roman’s mom or was this sort of a spur of the moment….”oh let’s just see what she’s got” decision.

I’m in awe every day of my son. I literally wake up each day knowing that if nothing else in my world goes right there is one constant, Roman. He lights me up in a way that nothing else ever has. There is no doubt about it, I have found my purpose in life and that is being his momma. 

Recently he’s become somewhat bored with his “younger” toys and decided we need to step up our playtime routine, well that’s how I see it anyway. Therefore, I took to Pinterest for ideas on what I could do to engage him. Tonight we laid in my room on my bed together, our attention on the ceiling as I made shapes with a small flashlight. His little cherub face lit up as I changed the shapes, moved it around, and turned it on and off. I found myself in such an intimate moment with my son, his tiny little fingers interlaced with mine (something he discovered last night how to do) and I knew I would remember this moment for the rest of my life. I wish I could have pushed a button in his tiny mind so that he could hold on to it to, but I’ve looked before and can’t find it, so for now I will just stow them away to share with him later. 
Wondering why I chose to write about such a special moment between my son and I? Well I assume part of it is the fear that I would end up like Paige in the Vow at some point and not be able to remember part of my life. Another part of me just wanted to document a day in my life of learning to be a mom to such an amazing little human being. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t feel like the luckiest woman alive.