Of course I’m not actually talking about terrorism silly. If you are a highly classified member of the NSA please move along, no secret stuff or wrong doings here. I’m just a mother raising a tiny two-year old terrorist and today he wore me out. Today i was tired and I took a nap when he did and it was fuckin glorious!
Raising a tiny two year old terrorist is hard work. Again, no I am not actually raising a terrorist, we love God and the good ol US of A. But in my home there is a tiny two year old that destroys or tries to destroy just about everything, climbs on to furniture, shoves mega blocks down my vents, puts monster trucks in the dishwasher, throws cars across the room into my brand new walls, beats the dogs with foam swords or pieces of my vacuum, climbs up the side of my cabinets pulling ink pens off the top and decorating himself in tiny toddler henna art. He screams at me for wiping off his hands, giving him a chip when he asks me for one, or looking at him when he does not want to be looked at (DUH mom). He attempts to unplug and plug things in, in an effort to earn a quick ride to the emergency room, throws a variety of objects down my stairs, plays in the toilets, scales the dining room table in a single bound to dance on for passing cars to see. This is not negligent parenting. I watch him do all of this you see, because I am almost always one step behind him as he runs screaming, crying or giggling through my home.
Therefore, yes in my home I have a terrorist, an adorable exploring terrorist with no political agenda or religious affiliations. He wreaks terror in my home and while it is 100% exhausting, I love every single minute of it. Of course I try redirecting him into more constructive things like learning the alphabet (HAHAHA yeah right) or disciplining him by sitting him in his chair. That’s always a real trip because my tiny terrorist tries to kiss me or say pease or sorry while sitting in his chair. How do I interrogate a terrorist with that kind of charm? It’s virtually impossible. There is no training for that, I operate daily like a Marine Special Forces Raider ready for battle and looking for danger behind every corner.
It’s hard work raising a tiny terrorist and some day I am going to miss every single exhausting minute of it but for now I’m just going to go ahead and rest up while he plots his next move in his tiny terrorist dreams.
I’m not actually comparing myself to a Marine Raider, obviously it was a joke meant to make people laugh (there’s always someone who gets their panties in a wad). We love and support our military and veterans to our last breath, thank you for all that you do 🙂
Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem