It’s true. What I woke up to that morning was nothing short of a nightmare, it was horrific. Was this real? God, seriously you’re kidding right? Take me back to that fantasy suite I was just in with Chris Hemsworth. What I am about to say is graphic and could be disturbing for some audiences.
I woke up to the usual shouts of “mommy” from the room next door. As I opened the door I didn’t know if I was entering a murder scene or Charlie’s Chocolate Factory. My son was covered in shit! Thank God only from his waist down and not on his hands. I couldn’t hide my reaction this time. Normally I have a mean poker face, not a lot phases me. I let out a gasp and proclaimed “OH MY GOD, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” He began to cry and then the mom gears got going. “No baby it’s ok, this isn’t your fault. It’s ok, this is can all be cleaned up, you are not in trouble.” Off to the shower we went.
Hours later I sat on the couch with my very sick little boy and couldn’t help but remember the faces of those poor souls lying in his bed with him. The faces of Buzz, Nemo, Thomas, Bear, and sweet little Bambi. They didn’t fare quite as well as my son you see because after I scrubbed my son from head to toe, trimmed fingernails, brushed his teeth and cleaned out his ears I shut the door to the shit show. Not one ounce of me wanted to tackle the mess that awaited within.
At some point in the afternoon I knew what I had to do. Mount up mom, you’ve got this, you’re strong! I opened the door and it was so much worse than it had been that morning. As I slammed the door shut and army crawled dry heaving to the my bedroom I thought surely I could let this one wait for his father. Let his daddy get a little taste of the things I shelter him from…..
No, I told myself I can do this!
This time I entered with a purpose, equipped with cleaning supplies and I changed in to an old shirt just to be safe. I even cleaned bare handed just to make myself feel more mommly. I ripped off the bed sheets, all the morning’s faithful stuffed guardians wrapped inside, the slipcover and the pillow and hauled it all down to the laundry room, hot cycle, extra soapy. I scrubbed the walls and bed frame just to be thorough.
When I was all done I scrubbed my arms and hands until they were bright red. EWWWW!! FUCKING GERMS! After 6 weeks and 3 antibiotics I’ve had enough of this SHIT! I’m tired, I’m sick and tired of my kids being sick and tired. I want a clean house, a hot shower and to soak in a vat of antibacterial hand soap! I was SO frustrated! But…
As I laid down to sleep that evening I laughed in spite of myself. I’d spent the day taking care of my two children who I loved more than anything else in the entire world. If that’s as bad as my day can get give me a hundred more. The love for my children will put me in several shitty situations and I know I have the capacity to overcome every.single.one, even if they are messy. Now, back to that dream with Chris Hemsworth.
Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem