How Did We Get Here?

How many times have we laughed about the fact that this is our life now? That after knowing each other for the last 24 years we are married with two kids driving each other nuts.

For those of you who don’t know our back story. My husband and I met in Kindergarten. I’ll keep it short for those who already know us. I literally loved him from the moment I set eyes on him. Like, seriously there are plenty of pictures to prove it. God he was a little asshole growing up I couldn’t get him to be my damn boyfriend for the life of me. It all changed when I got boobs and lost the braces… imagine that huh? He graduated to a pain in the ass for most of our high school career and through college. Ohhhh that boy!!! Saying that he was ornery is an understatement. I of course was angel I never did anything wrong. We did broke up a few times but always went back to one another. I will say I NEVER initiated one of those break ups. I had my eye on the prize.

I always knew I was going to marry him one way or the other and after 9 years we got engaged. Yes the stink butt took 9 years to ask me! We married in 2012 in Kauai. It was the most magical, care free day of my entire life. It was absolutely perfect.

I never wanted children growing up. Babies scared the shit out of me and little kids mostly annoyed me. I always assumed we would have children but didn’t think about the logistics. In 2013 we decided, meh lets give it a shot. Exactly 9 months to the date of that “shot” along came our first born.

It’s one of those things where you think you love someone but you really have no idea how much you love them until you see them as a parent. The problem is I had so many issues trying to fully grasp the love of a child that I forgot how to love my husband. The motions were there but it was like WHOAH, WHAT is this new type of love that I have for this tiny baby?! It was a lot to handle. It took me awhile to figure all of that out and remember that I had a husband I was basically obsessed with haha. Once I was able to differentiate between the emotions I was able to fully grasp the husband and father he had become and two children later I am simply blessed to have him by my side.

I couldn’t ask for a better partner or a father. He is my other half in every aspect, we split everything when it comes to raising our boys. He’s one of those special men that doesn’t believe I need to do it all on my own. I always say that if something happened to me tomorrow he would be just fine. He would be perfectly capable of raising our boys. He wouldn’t agree with me but I am right, I always am!

I am so proud of him.

So my love, if you ever find this, which likely you won’t and you would hate me for even writing it. I want you to know that through every

 

obstacle and curve life has thrown us, through every fight, every make up, every hair pulling and confusing moment, all the life altering changes I would never choose to do any of it or go forward with life without you by my side. Just you, even with all of your hard headedness and non ice cream or pizza sharing self. Sometimes I just remind God how thankful I am that you are the father of our boys and that they will always have a strong man behind them giving them 100%.

Thank you for washing the dishes, letting me sleep in, getting the groceries, for NOT touching the damn laundry, for putting Roman to bed every single night, for feeding Ryker even when he yells at you the whole time bc you’re “definitely” not doing it right, thank you for keeping Ro’s gator on full charge, for NOT throwing all of my shoes outside on the lawn like you threaten to do every time you trip over them. Thank you for letting me live out all the crazy ideas I have, for dealing with women inside your home getting spray tans and shopping for clothes. Thank you for spraying even when you believe there is no other man in America who spray tans their wife. I know you say you’re never going to do it again but we both know that’s not true. Thank you for NOT tearing the vacuum apart because I leave it in the middle of the kitchen and for NEVER giving me grief when there’s nothing to eat in the fridge. I’ve been seriously wife failing the last two months. Thank you for all the sonic diet coke stops and detours you’ve had to make lol!!! Thank you for telling me I’m beautiful every single day and teaching the boys the value of respecting me as a mother and a woman…well except for teaching him to spank me and call me turbo butt… but ya know we’re remedying that now. Thank you for faithfully watching the Bachelor with me for the last 8 years even though I know you secretly love it. Thank you for fighting me and challenging me and for always listening to my stories. Thank you for those midnight bottles, it’s the smallest thing but means so much.

But most importantly thank you for absolutely nailing the one real job you have and that’s being a daddy. Roman absolutely adores you and Ryker will eventually come around, I mean I can’t help it that he just likes me so much more. I’m a likeable kind of gal.

They’re lucky they get to call you daddy.

Ill love you forever HB

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

 

 

 

Today I judged you, and for that I’m sorry

No, sorry isn’t enough.

I don’t know you, I don’t know if you are a “good mom” or a “bad mom.” I don’t know if you like pizza or what your favorite flavor of ice cream is. I know absolutely NOTHING about you. I could have gotten to know you today, but I didn’t. Because at the time, I was too embarrassed by my own thoughts.

I had taken my son and nephew to the splash pad to play. Just the day before my toddler had driven me past my breaking point. It takes a LONG time for me to get to that point but man oh man the sass was strong! All I knew was that we needed out of the house and we needed to blow off some steam. We played for about an hour before we decided to wander around the park. As we came back to the splash pad the boys began to play and I noticed two boys off to my left who looked out of place.

Now my mom radar was on. I couldn’t tell who their parents were. They looked almost like twins so I knew they had to be together. It didn’t take me long to realize that one had a severe disability, the other seemed, if anything, to suffer from some sort of social anxiety. Maybe there was another layer to it. I won’t speculate much here. All I know is I got very angry because no one was sitting with them, no one was talking to them and no one was comforting them. I was only angry because as a mother I don’t want to see any child hurt or ignored.

I began to look around and I couldn’t put my finger on who they belonged to. I analyzed everyone and started to weed out the possibilities. Then, I saw her. She was sitting next to a large stroller watching the other children play. She was not sitting near the boys or even looking in their direction. My first thought was “seriously?” I could think of a million things I could be doing with those boys if they were mine…. I’m such an idiot, seriously I’m just an idiot.

After awhile she got up and told one of the boys to play a little bit and she reached down and picked up the other boy and walked him out to the center of the splash pad. God I am in tears as I write this. All the anger inside me spilled over. I had no one to be angry at but myself. How dare I judge this mother.

Here she was, clearly overweight, clearly a mother of two boys with some sort of emotional and physical disabilities. A mother who is tired. One who gets as irritated more often than I do. A mother who probably fights emotional battles all day. A mother who probably wouldn’t want anyone to feel sorry for her. A mother who loves her two sons as much as I love mine but was dealt a different hand.

Maybe earlier when she was watching the other children play she was thinking about how warm the sun felt beating down on her skin. Maybe she was breathing in a few minutes of peace and praying for her family. Maybe in those few minutes that I judged her she was just enjoying not being needed or touched by someone.

I watched her carry her little boy into the splash pad with a face full of determination.  Everyone watched as she set him down and walked back out completely soaked.  I know she has lived through more hard moments than I have as a mother. That she will be taking care of that little boy for the rest of his life. That she won’t get the breaks I do. That she will be a full time mom forever. That she won’t be able to run and play with her little boy. That she won’t get to watch him run across the splash pad being silly. And it absolutely broke my heart in to a thousand little pieces.

So to you, whoever you were, I am truly sorry. I wish I would have stayed a little longer and moved to sit with you, to include you in some mom talk. To assure you that you and your boys both belonged  in the place that you had come to play and get some fresh air…but I didn’t.

But since you’re reading this, maybe you will learn from my mistake.
We are all just trying to get by as parents. No one is doing it right all the time. Some of us are good parents, some of us are great parents and some of us are down right TERRIBLE parents. Shoot she could have been a terrible mother! But that doesn’t really matter. I empathized with her situation and knew that it was not my place to judge her from a five minute observation.

I’m not a very religious person but I know when God is speaking to me and today he spoke loud and clear. Clear enough to teach me a lesson and remind me of my blessings and the beautiful children I get to call mine.

Carpe the Hell out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

 

Cheers to a New Journey with Agnes & Dora

Wow, it’s been a long and confusing journey since I lost my job in the Marketing Department for the university I used to work for. After a little over 2 years at home with my son I finally feel like the cards are falling in to place. I struggled through 2015 to finish my MBA, moving four times, building a house, trying to figure out what I wanted to be when I grew up. Then in 2016 I I found a rhythm working part time on the weekends in retail at my “fun” job to get a little face time with other women and ADULTS! I also gave birth to our second son, became a personal trainer, and started teaching SkyFit at SkyZone. Things were falling in to place and I felt like I was finally starting to live out my true passions, fitness and fashion. And then……

I watched a video on YouTube and everything changed. I saw a video by my girl Dorothy Booth about Agnes & Dora, a small, growing clothing company. I started researching all things Agnes & Dora and fell in love with their styles. I found a few pieces that I wanted to order to see if I would actually like the fabrics and fit. Much to my surprise I fell head over heels. Styles I never dreamt would look good on me made me feel amazing. I put myself in the Agnes & Dora  queue two days later. But here was the problem.

I had to WAIT a VERY long time to get in. The CEO and founder Buffy Bandley was taking a proactive approach to building her company. She didn’t want to grow too fast and not have control. So for about 3 1/2 months I waited, patiently at first and very impatiently for the two weeks before I actually received my email. When I got the ding my excitement was through the roof. THIS was something I was going to be good at, THIS is something I was going to OWN and literally rock the shit out of. I know clothes, I know fashion.

With Agnes & Dora I have found myself again. Being a mother is amazing but for a long time I struggled with the fact that I was home, not using the skills and knowledge I had received while attaining my MBA. When I became a personal trainer I knew I could help people but coordinating times was difficult and I didn’t want to sacrifice my time with my family in the evenings when most people could train with me. So when SkyZone called me I jumped at the chance to use my knowledge in fitness to help others. Now I can pour myself in to my Agnes & Dora business to help women create awesome outfits, take chances, step out of their comfort zones, and feel even more beautiful.

If you are reading this and are interested I would love to tell you more about Agnes & Dora! Join my FB group so I can get to know you and your tastes for fashion. Let’s see if I have something you would be interested in. I love helping others put together outfits and shop. Let me help you pair Agnes & Dora pieces with the other great pieces in your closet!!

I can’t wait to meet you!

Just want to take a peek around and see some awesome styles? Shop my website, you can always just email me with questions.

Wish me luck on this journey!

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

For the Love of God Put DOWN your Phone

Yes, I’ll say it, I am a self proclaimed phone addict. My mind runs so fast that I am constantly thinking about things I want to accomplish, questions I want to look up, noting things I don’t want to forget, etc. It’s not really all about social media or staying in touch I just happen to utilize my phone to answer and help me with all the stuff that runs through my head. Unfortunately sometimes this means that my attention is taken from my children to be on my phone. I am definitely not perfect.

I’m not one to judge,but for the LOVE of God please put down your fucking cell phone!!!!!! I see you, I see you all the time.

I have seen you out to dinner with your family and everyone has a device in their hand.

I have seen you checking your phone while your young children walk next to you in a parking lot (you can’t even put it in your pocket long enough to ensure they make it safely to their vehicle!

I’ve seen you so immersed in your phone that you have no idea what kind of games your children are playing at the park and I’ve watched you at “school”, when you are supposed to be working one on one with your child, never look up from your phone at all unless your realize your child has moved on to a new toy.

Ask yourself what is so Goddamn important.

I am a stay at home mother of two small children. Believe it or not I am busy almost all day. It’s so challenging to get things accomplished and at times I do get distracted with my phone for some of the reasons I stated in the beginning. Life isn’t sunshine and rainbows all the time and we aren’t perfect, I’m definitely not perfect. I have taken my oldest son who is now three to several different places over the last few months and noticed a trend among parents. They sit on the sidelines on their cell phone or with a friend chatting while their kids are playing. I hope none of them have ever caught me staring but in my head I’m thinking, “really? aren’t we distracted enough already, you can’t put your cell phone away or remove yourself from your important life as an adult to engage with your child for an hour?” I mean the idea of getting that special time to play with my son where I don’t have to think about my boring ass life is literally exhilarating! I can set this time aside to focus just on him, join him in his world and it takes me back to when I used to have an imagination. In fact,  I am finding my inner child again and letting her shine through in all of her radiance. Just this past weekend I ventured in to the treeline behind our house and taught my son how to build a fort with sticks. We fought off intruders and walked on our bridge scared to fall in to the alligator pit below. Last week I crawled through holes with my best friend and her son at a local indoor play center that neither of us should have fit through, slid down slides, enjoyed a dinner made by our sons and laughed until we cried at the things they were saying. Had we been sitting in the chairs where the other moms were we would have missed ALL of this.

Today I climbed in to a contraption I thought I might actually die in, crashed an airplane, then rescued myself in an ambulance, AND alerted the fire department that there was a problem (whew I’m tired). I’ve belly crawled from my kitchen to his bedroom to “pew pew” his daddy and baby brother with our blocks (we don’t say guns because DUH it’s not politically correct to play cops and robbers or ESPECIALLY cowboys and Indians). I’ve played hide and go seek, built blanket forts, jumped on beds, made race tracks out of anything I could possibly imagine in our home, I speak in random accents and dialects throughout the day just to hear him laugh, we’ve run from room to room while the dog chases us, had dance parties on the coffee table, been under arrest more times than I can count, and I know this sounds strange but the other day we sat in the dryer and squealed just to hear ourselves squeal.

THIS is what life is about as parents. These moments we are never going to get back. And I hate to be the one to break it to you but if you don’t put your cell phone away and enjoy these moments you ARE going to regret it. I’ve missed moments before and I know because of a circumstances here or there I may miss one again. But, I made a promise to myself a few months ago that I would set aside time for my children, that I wouldn’t care who saw me being silly, and that I would engage with my sons on their level.

You aren’t a bad parent you just need someone to point it out to you. I challenge you to leave your phone in your purse for awhile the next time you take them to play. Don’t even worry about pictures, just enjoy your child. GET UP, run and play with your babies before they aren’t babies anymore. I promise you won’t regret it.

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

 

Blue and Green Stripes! My Baby Boy’s Nursery.

We were 3 weeks from moving in to our brand new home when we found out we were pregnant. Our builder had been able to build it in just over 3 months and we were stoked to move in. I was definitely a little disappointed because I could have changed some things with the room if I’d known a little boy would be occupying it in a few months. My favorite color is green and since I’d done my other son’s room in black, green and white I felt like I should stick with green but just another shade. I’d seen colored furniture and was pretty drawn to it when I was on Pinterest. I decided these would be my focal points and I chose green, navy and white as the colors to go well with the tan walls.

We had a bedroom set from my husband’s parents. A lot of solid, nice pieces but much too large for us to put in our bedroom. We had gotten a larger bed and smaller dresser since we had a walk-in closet now. I thought I could use the dresser in the nursery, it could double as a changing table. I also saw some “rugby” style curtains I wanted to replicate for about a quarter of the cost they were being sold for online.

Luckily my friend Stefanie came in clutch. She painted Roman’s curtains for his bedroom also. She’s fantastic! Such a great friend, I appreciate her doing this for me. We used regular ol wall paint on these IKEA curtains. They’re a nice, thick almost canvas material. Very nice curtains for the price!

Painting furniture is not difficult. If I can do it anyone can. What it is, is time consuming especially on a piece like this damn dresser. I chose my green color for the furniture. I left the top of the dresser alone. I have re-painted several pieces and always left the top with the original finish. Not only do I think it looks awesome but painting it would make it very easy to chunk up and scratch even with a thick top coat. I did NOT want to do that many topcoats. I found my hardware at Hobby Lobby on sale for 50% off and I was
obsessed with it.

I knew I needed to tie in some piece of the chestnut finish from the dresser into the crib. HA! I’m a genius. So I should have taken before and afters but for DIYers this was really easy. I used a thick primer to cover the entire crib. Then, on the top part of the crib I found a chestnut toned paint to paint that area. THEN, on top of that I brushed on a matching stain. It looks so good in person I can’t even begin to explain. To say I was stoked about the finished product is an understatement. I did cover it with several coats of polyurethane to protect it from the tiny trucks on the floor that the toddler felt like he should crash in to them.

Now let’s talk about THE name sign. I’m cracking myself up at how awesome it turned out. I seriously got so lucky. I knew what I had in my head as a vision. I just couldn’t figure out how to get it to come together. Then one day it hit me. I had been trying to sell a pallet sign that I’d made a couple years back for our first house. Why couldn’t I just re purpose it? I did the same thing as I did with the crib. I primed it and then covered it with the paint and stain. Now, I wanted it 3D but wasn’t sure how to get it. Then browsing through Chartruse’s page I SAW it. She had a fenced looking sign in her studio. I took my pallet measurements in and discussed my vision with her. She was able to create the white pallet look on top of my sign then she added the letters which are all ceramic. It’s perfect. The only problem I found was the same thing I had when we had hung it at my first house. my dad had used these L screws to hang it which stuck out and were kind of unsightly. I looked for something to cover them. I found little star lights at Target. Then I sat and tied pieces of burlap, blue and green ribbon on to the lights. I know what you’re thinking…. what kind of time does this chick have? I have none, what I have is a serious lack of sleep because I was doing this AFTER Ryker got here.

While there are so many pieces about the room that I love. My favorite is probably the poem/saying. I had written it before we had Roman and I have a sign in his bedroom with the same saying. It’s pieces from a couple different poems and shows the sides of my husband and I’s views on life which are vastly different. This is what makes us a great team. I had a local printing company print it on a canvas sheet, then I bought a cheap canvas from Michaels, wrapped, and stapled it on. Then, my dad made a frame for it. MUCH MUCH cheaper than what you can buy them for anywhere else.

That little lion is from a local Alpaca farm, it’s made of Alpaca fur (if that’s  the technical term). I bought a bear for Roman and had maternity pictures taken with it so I knew I wanted one for Ryker.

You can see the red clock that I got from Target in the above picture. I liked my color pallet but I wanted some pops of red. I kept combing through my Pinterest boards and running across a Radio Flyer wagon shelf. I needed one! I took to the Facebook buy, sell, and trade sites. I had a woman contact me who wanted to just give me her wagon. It wasn’t in good shape but it was perfect for what we were doing with it. I picked up some red spray paint, touched up the rough spots and my dad went to town to make me a shelf!

The rest was pretty easy!

I found some barbed wire rustic stars in my decorations in the basement to hang. I had never used these! I printed some maternity pictures taken by the amazing Christopher Withers and mod podged them on some more cheap Michaels canvases.

The Be Brave sign came from Hobby Lobby.

The French Bulldog light is from Target. I spray painted it blue to match the room (it was originally white). We have a Frenchie so this was a no brainer.

The small little bookshelf was from IKEA, it’s actually a spice rack and again super cheap.

The pig, piggy bank is from Chartruse also.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for peeking in to my little man’s nursery. If you have any questions on how I did anything feel free to leave me a comment or send me a message! I hope you enjoyed my DIY quest to make this room perfect for Ryker. I love conquering my visions, it makes me feel very accomplished.

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

A Shopvac, Exhaust Pipe, and a Toddler

I know what you’re thinking WTF?   How could these three things possibly fit together? Well I’m about to explain it. Today was  just like any other normal day.  We woke up,  we had breakfast, we played with our toys, we took a poop in the potty, and then decided we would go to town to get daddy some cake, ice cream, and balloons because after all today is his birthday.

I actually lucked out because my mom was on this adventure with us. The toddler started out the door doing his very best to listen to everything I asked him to do clutching his bright yellow Custer Farms van. As I was loading things in to the car I heard, “mommy look!” As a mother this usually is not a phrase you want to hear from you toddler.  I raced around the back of the vehicle to find my son squatting down looking into the steel hole that is the exhaust pipe. There, nestled inside, was my sons tiny yellow van. Fuck! “See mommy see!” “Yes son I see.”

Yaya (a.k.a. The hulk) was a quick thinker. We called my dad to come to our rescue with a possible solution, jumped in her vehicle and off to town we went. On our way home we were still contemplating my dads remedy for this situation when suddenly The Hulk had an idea! Earlier we’d used part of the ShopVac in the basement to free another toy he had stuck somewhere. Surely we could suck this metal toy out of the toxic hollow of fumes.

Upon arriving home I lugged the Shop Vac upstairs, plugged it in and sucked that little van right out! Victory was MINE!!

Then, I looked over to find the toddler, who was supposed to be learning a lesson about what not to stick in a tail pipe, was happily frolicking through the mud, completely unaware of his bad decision and covered in mud. (Sigh).

I thought to myself, why not enjoy this? after all, I HAD saved the van from a slow and painful death. I chased my toddler around the yard and he collapsed in a tiny heap of giggles. I de-pantsed him right in the front yard to which I discovered his underwear had been on backwards all day! They looked rather uncomfortable, not really sure how he didn’t notice this at some point.

 

 

 

Anyways! Daddy (a.k.a. Spider-Man) came driving in as we made our way up the driveway. I set him down and off he ran across the grass and in to daddy’s arms singing “Happy Birthday to Roman happy birthday to me!”

SO morale of the story is: as a parent it’s easy to get stressed out and upset about something that seems like such a big deal. But the key is to put your underwear on backwards, run through the mud and sing happy birthday to yourself. It worked for us today.

And if you ever need to retieve an object from your exhaust pipe just drag out the ShopVac.

PS. The toddler has nicknamed everyone in the family. I was bestowed with the title “Special” and he tells me all day how special I am. No baby. I think we know which ones or us is the most special of all ❤️.

Carpe the Hell Out of your Diem

Laci Jane

 

 

 

What I saw before me was a nightmare, this couldn’t be real….

sickbabyIt’s true. What I woke up to that morning was nothing short of a nightmare, it was horrific. Was this real? God, seriously you’re kidding right? Take me back to that fantasy suite I was just in with Chris Hemsworth. What I am about to say is graphic and could be disturbing for some audiences.

I woke up to the usual shouts of “mommy” from the room next door. As I opened the door I didn’t know if I was entering a murder scene or Charlie’s Chocolate Factory. My son was covered in shit! Thank God only from his waist down and not on his hands. I couldn’t hide my reaction this time. Normally I have a mean poker face, not a lot phases me. I let out a gasp and proclaimed “OH MY GOD, YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!” He began to cry and then the mom gears got going. “No baby it’s ok, this isn’t your fault. It’s ok, this is can all be cleaned up, you are not in trouble.” Off to the shower we went.

Hours later I sat on the couch with my very sick little boy and couldn’t help but remember the faces of those poor souls lying in his bed with him. The faces of Buzz, Nemo, Thomas, Bear, and sweet little Bambi. They didn’t fare quite as well as my son you see because after I scrubbed my son from head to toe, trimmed fingernails, brushed his teeth and cleaned out his ears I shut the door to the shit show. Not one ounce of me wanted to tackle the mess that awaited within.

At some point in the afternoon I knew what I had to do. Mount up mom, you’ve got this, you’re strong! I opened the door and it was so much worse than it had been that morning. As I slammed the door shut and army crawled dry heaving to the my bedroom I thought surely I could let this one wait for his father. Let his daddy get a little taste of the things I shelter him from…..

No, I told myself I can do this!

This time I entered with a purpose, equipped with cleaning supplies and I changed in to an old shirt just to be safe. I even cleaned bare handed just to make myself feel more mommly. I ripped off the bed sheets, all the morning’s faithful stuffed guardians wrapped inside, the slipcover and the pillow and hauled it all down to the laundry room, hot cycle, extra soapy. I scrubbed the walls and bed frame just to be thorough.

When I was all done I scrubbed my arms and hands until they were bright red. EWWWW!! FUCKING GERMS! After 6 weeks and 3 antibiotics I’ve had enough of this SHIT! I’m tired, I’m sick and tired of my kids being sick and tired. I want a clean house, a hot shower and to soak in a vat of antibacterial hand soap! I was SO frustrated! But…

As I laid down to sleep that evening I laughed in spite of myself. I’d spent the day taking care of my two children who I loved more than anything else in the entire world. If that’s as bad as my day can get give me a hundred more. The love for my children will put me in several shitty situations and I know I have the capacity to overcome every.single.one, even if they are messy. Now, back to that dream with Chris Hemsworth.

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem

Laci Jane

d09ca-carpe-diem_7f64c205

I’m not Scared of Being a Mom Anymore!

familySo yeah, I was scared. I was scared of how I was going to feel about having two children. I was scared at how my husband and I would balance and still have time for one another. I was scared that Roman would feel left out or that I was abandoning him because Ryker was new to the picture. I was silly. I won’t be the first or the last to be scared about all of those things and I won’t be the first to admit that I was silly.

How does your heart even allow this much love and the depth and levels of love we can possess are astonishing. Ryker will be 5 months old in 9 days and yes, our home is drastically different. Roman seems to be the one most untouched by all of this. Since last year when I found out I was pregnant that child moved for his 4th time in to a brand new home and adjusted like a champ, he transitioned to a big boy bed, potty trained, lost a pet (see previous post), had a baby brother, and lost his beloved “farmer Bob”. He was completely unscathed by these changes. He welcomed his baby brother with open arms and has continued to show me how awesome of a little person he is by being so “go with the flow” about everything. Yes he runs me ragged some days, other days he screams at me for no reason, throws things across the room (DAMN this child can be destructive and he’s not even trying to be) and eats like a wild animal (a problem we can’t seem to find a solution for) but then in a second he turns around and is the most sweetest understanding little boy ever. Son, I admire how much your little brain is processing right now. You are SO big.

boysOur home is different. My husband has had a much harder time adjusting to life with two than I have but it’s funny how much closer we’ve gotten. After Roman I struggled with the realization that I loved my son more than my husband. Sure I loved Grant the same but I never expected what the love for a child could do to your brain. I mean lets face it, if I had to save one or the other I would save my son and he would do the same. That’s kind of a hard thing to process especially when your husband is literally the love of your life. I eventually got over that but adding two has brought us together even more. We’re now on the same side you see. We now realize we’re in this life together as a team often against the hoodlums. We laugh sometimes when Roman is screaming “NO DADDY I WANT MOMMY YOU GO AWAY YOU NO SING LIKE MOMMY” and Ryker is screeching his disgust of his bedroom temperature. We can often be seen tagging in and out of our evening routines as we are now one on one not two on one like before. No, like literally in the hallway hitting hands saying tag you’re in. We’re just getting started but there is nothing we can’t handle when we do it together. We have sacrificed date nights to make things work, it’s not nearly as easy to call up gmas for evening dates when their already watching them various times throughout the week and teenage babysitters are expensive! Watching a toddler and a baby isn’t easy either! This time will pass though and before we know it we will have all the time in the world together. I write this as tonight our evening fell through. What should have been an evening with friends turned in to a fighting match with my over tired little Roman who couldn’t decide if he wanted to eat or play trucks and my sweet baby Ryker who was all smiles while he had mommy and daddy all to himself. I watched Roman climb in to Ryker’s crib and talk to him and kiss him and snuggle him and saw, “hi ryker baby watcha doin”. There is always good with the bad, bad with the bad and good on good. I was put on this earth, I know, to be their mommy and Gran’t wife. To go running at any moment, to give hugs, to make it “all better”, to listen, to discipline to have fun but more importantly to love all three of them with with every ounce of my being. None of this scares me anymore, I can handle anything, except for one more kid, I’m good there. No more kids, two is good, it’s perfect.

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane
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My First Time with LuLaRoe… it was UH-MAZING

cassie skirtSo a couple weeks ago I started to dive in to LuLaRoe and all the yummy, buttery, colorful, crazy clothes that come with it. I had been a total skeptic for months. I tested out the leggings at a craft show in September. I stretched the thighs, I wanted to see if the fabric separated. Because as all of us thick thighed ladies know, when you put on leggings and you can see the fabric stretching it’s a real kick in the ass. Like I know my thunder thighs are big but these leggings just want to show the world HOW big, big enough that the you can’t see the design anymore just the stretched out white lines!!! I discovered LuLaRoe’s leggings don’t do that, okay you have my interest.

After that my interest in LuLaRoe was kept at bay because I could not attend any of the parties I was invited to. It wasn’t until my girl Jacque invited me to her online party that I decided ok who the hell are these people and what have they done with this company. Several hours later I found myself completely transfixed by the business model, in like ten Facebook groups, excited about trying something from their different lines of clothing and messaging consultants about how it all worked.

Next thing I knew I had two invoices in my inbox and a Cassie and OS leggings on the way (that’s one size  in case you weren’t aware).

So here she is in all her glory, my Cassie skirt!!!! I had so many compliments on her. It is hands down the most comfortable skirt I’ve ever worn. I wore it for 8 1/2 hours at work. I do A LOT of moving, it didn’t ride up at all. I wore my leggings the next day and they were wonderful!

Stay tuned, much, much more from LuLaRoe!

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

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Target Runs and Chill with a side of Chaos

rolling stonesOkay so when I created this blog I actually went places. I went to work every day, went shopping on the reg, even went out with friends and my husband. BAHAHAHAHAHA not anymore. I do go to work 3 days a week so I definitely try and use that opportunity to flaunt my style. When I go shopping I have my boys in tow (and let’s be real you have to feel comfortable), “going out” with friends means staying at one of our homes watching the kids run around (likely in our jammies), and date nights with my husband have diminished. Not because we don’t want to, but because we feel guilty asking someone to watch BOTH of them when we already have to have someone watch them other times during the week. Do I sound bitter about it? Honestly maybe to a degree, but here’s the thing, I fucking LOVE where I am in life. Sure I’d like to go shopping more often without my kids and I would love to go out and get hammered with my friends but most of them don’t want to do that anymore —If anyone wants to go get hammered and shake their ass sometime soon, holla I’m down like 4 flat tires. Date nights are great and all but anymore we’d both rather just stay home and watch movies but it would be nice to do that kid less on occasion.

My style has changed drastically because I do not go to work every day. Many of the clothes I used to wear I’ve either sold or are in a tote in my basement. I wear leggings on the daily and I have become so obsessed with graphic tshirts. lol. I know I sound crazy but I am a sucker for a themed tee or tank.

I love winter because I love to layer, blame my Hollister days for that one. I threw this outfit together amidst my toddler trying to show me out to trim his nails with daddy’s fingernail clippers and while my baby refused to nap. What should have taken 3o minutes took me an hour and half… sigh….#SAHMpropz. By the time I got myself ready, chased my naked toddler through the house to clothe and get all the baby stuff in the car it was 11am. Shew.

This outfit was less than $50 and when I saw myself I went, “damn ok, okayyy”! Super stoked and you will see it again. I will never NOT love holey jeans, to me they will always be in style. My jeans were $5 at a resale shop, the vest was $10 from another resale shop (Express brand), the cute flannel was $15, and the tee was only $6 both from… DRUMROLLLLLLL Kohls!!! YES because shopping with deals only happens at Kohls and Target, at least around here.

I’ve got so many of these plaid flannel tops laying around right now all to match my tees. Check your closet, find your favorite tees and start shopping around for a flannel cover up. Easy, super stylish outfit ready in a snap.

 

#Realtalk, the dog is about 3 ft in front of me in this picture and my toddler is directly to my right standing on the kitchen table. I LOVE and fully embrace the chaos.

Carpe the Hell Out of Your Diem
Laci Jane

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